On Purpose

As popular as Rick Warren's book, "The Purpose Driven Life" has become (I recently heard it has become the greatest selling book of all time other than the Bible) I wonder how many of us are really living "on purpose."

It seems from childhood we're oriented away from purposeful living. I can't imagine how many times I did something wrong and then tried to defend myself with the phrase, "But I didn't do it on purpose!" While that never seemed to get me off the hook of trouble, it may have been a telling sign of things to come.

To live "on purpose" is no easy thing. Consider Rick's book, and the accompanying Purpose Driven Journal, and Purpose Driven Daily Calendar, and the Purpose Driven Night Light (okay, I made that last one up...I think), the purpose of each of those resources is to help people live "on purpose." More than great marketing, the vast selection of "Purpose Driven" products indicates we need tools and resources to live on purpose. We need reminders to live "on purpose" and even if we are reminded to find our purpose and then live it... the bottom line is it requires a bunch of hard work to do it.

Life is much easier when lived simply on "cruise control" or "auto pilot." There is little thought required about what we've been or what we're becoming. But living on purpose requires a ton of effort and some much needed resources. One of the things we need to live on purpose is intimacy with the Creator (He is the One who ultimately knows what we're created to be). If we avoid intimacy with the One who made us, then it is much easier to avoid who we really are.

Living on purpose also demands personal integrity and honest self-evaluation. Those long stares in the mirror of self-reflection (even actually physically staring into a mirror long enough to deal with yourself is a powerful experience -- for more on this, see my blog entry on Sept. 22, 2008) can be a sobering. Not only taking the inevitable criticism from others, but inviting input from friends and trusted advisers is necessary to see ourselves for who we really are and to be more aware of who and what we're becoming.

To have those things in your life are as blessed as they are necessary and sometimes you have to go find them. I've not always been one who sought out critical input, but over the years I've seen myself move from resisting it to actually welcoming and inviting it. I have some of the best friends and confidants ever, who love me enough to be honest about what they see in me and are willing to walk with me toward being better. I have found space in my life that allows me to test who I'm becoming without rejection. All of those things are not only necessary for my life, they have been put there on purpose.

Though we all make too many mistakes, when we do make them, there is no need to say, "I didn't do it on purpose." Living a life "on purpose," we acknowledge our mistakes for what they are and then move on purposefully. Not everyone wants to allow us to do that. Some will hang our mistakes over us or never let them go. If that is the case, the burden falls to them to figure out their purpose, not to you. There is only one Judge and we can be assured, it isn't the person that won't let you forget your mistakes, especially those mistakes that were made when trying to live on purpose.

Every step we take, good or bad, is one step closer to a life lived on purpose. So keep moving along, my friend... we have lives to live, on purpose!

Resolute

New Year's resolutions are highly overrated. Part of the reason is because far too often the burden of fulfilling the resolution falls solely to the individual making the resolution. We resolve on our own what should be or should do and then we are left to make the resolution a reality (often in isolation). Typically, the net result is failure within a matter of days, if not weeks and the guilt of a "broken resolution" is the remnant of great intentions.

I'm convinced "commitments" are a better path, especially commitments made in community (with other people). In a community of others we lean on their love and support not only to fulfill a commitment we've made, but we can actually utilize the community's input to discern what the commitment ought to be in the first place. Other people can see who we really are sometimes better than we see ourselves.

Left to myself, I'll too often make commitments (or resolutions, New Year's or otherwise) that are simply too comfortable or too easy to attain. For example, if I make a commitment to go to the gym and work out 4 days a week, but I'm already working out 3 days a week, that commitment isn't too big a stretch. Additionally, it won't make a HUGE difference in my physical conditioning (unless I'm an elite athlete) in that one day's absence or presence in the gym.

Relationally, spiritually, developmentally... we do the same thing. We take a path of "least resistance" in our personal development and then fall short of what we are fully capable of achieving. How many relationships (friendships, marriages, teams, etc.) stay "stuck" at an immature level because no one pushes for something greater? How many spiritual "giants" never grow into their potential because no one steps into their life and challenges them to greatness? How many skills or gifts go untapped because no one was invited (or had the courage to say something) to support them into reality? We need to be resolute toward something more than resolutions!

In community, a group of trusted people can offer input and challenge into life that will yield a HUGE difference in our becoming better people. Of course, trust is a HUGE factor in this process but the overall outcome offers more promise than simply making individual resolutions.

For Christ-followers, the addition of God's input in the process of discerning (through prayer, Scripture reading, meditation, fasting, etc.) can yield unimaginable results. What new commitment might be confirmed, supported and then realized into fruition if we shared our commitments with others?

This year, I've made a commitment to have "deeper and more meaningful relationship" with people God puts in my proximity. I have a group of people who, I trust and believe, will hold me accountable and help me make progress in that commitment. It isn't easy work, but that is all the more reason why it should occur in community.

Rather than "resolving to fail" like I have so many times in the past(some of us may have already "missed the mark" on this New Year's resolutions), perhaps we can "resolve to be resolute" and utilize our faith and our community to advance who we are as people. In community, we will watch ourselves and others grow and change as we become more of what we are capable of being.