While I was always willing to save money for things I wanted from then on, some of that propensity for saving gave way to the lure of credit cards in later life. While I've never been held hostage by revolving credit, I have tended more toward a "buy it now, pay it off at the end of the month" mentality. That can be a little risky but to this day, barring any unforeseen circumstances, there is always satisfaction in seeing a zero balance on those accounts at the end of the month.
In more recent years, hitting mid-stride financially has afforded the opportunity at more risky financial ventures. Far, far from venture capitalist status, being able to roll just a few dollars into higher risk opportunities has been an interesting adventure. Not really a business section reader or a stock ticket watcher myself, I tend toward more spiritual interests. Consequently, I've left my higher risk investing to the hands and minds of trusted individuals who actually make their living risking other people's money. Monthly and quarterly statements have provided a thrilling kind of satisfaction in watching my money work for me. Until recent financial times... Now I watch with mouth gaping amazement and wonder if I'll ever see another "+" sign again?
Now the adage "the higher they rise, the harder they fall" seems to be the cry of the day. The higher the risk profile, apparently the deeper the subsequent losses. One advantage of being my current age is that I might have the fortunate opportunity of seeing those numbers bounce back in the next few years. For other more senior risk takers, those who ride the thrill induced side of investing, may not see "whoopee" numbers return again in their lifetime. I feel for those folks. I have thoughts of selling one of those cards to try and help one of them out... but there's not much of a market left for spectacular aged rookie cards these days either.
Risk always means the potential for loss. In the last year, the profile for my spiritual investing has been running at a relatively high clip. In my intentions to find God at deeping levels, He has led me to raise the bar in my relationships with others. In doing so, I've discovered a whole new level of risk. Any time we extend ourselves fully (or as fully as humanly possible at the time) there is risk involved. We risk giving something that may not come back, even in a lifetime or more.
Somewhere in the relationship markets of life we tend to anticipate a dollar-for-dollar return on our investments. We give "so much" to another individual and we expect "so much" (or maybe even more) in return. In some cases, we're not willing to go any deeper into our personal portfolios if we can't be sure we'll get a good return on our investment. But sometimes it just doesn't work out in a way that we get back what we give.
Tennyson once wrote, "I hold it true, whate'er befall; I feel it, when I sorrow most; 'Tis better to have loved and lost; Than never to have loved at all."
I have to wonder how many times Tennyson saw the bottom side of that investment portfolio? It only takes once to feel the pain. To love and to not have one's love returned in equal portion (nor even at all) is not a quick-market recovery. To fully invest in love's market means to lay it all on the line at considerable risk. To roll in that market, you have to be willing to go "all-in" and be willing to lay it all on the line.
Jesus invests in the same markets. "...who for the joy set before Him..."(Hebrews 12:2) is what is said of how Jesus endured the shame and pain of the cross. While it is perhaps easier to hear those words knowing that His suffering secured the redemption of any soul who is willing to accept Him as Savior, it is not easy to hear those words when we consider all those who simply reject what Christ has done for them -- those who perhaps will never accept His love. The price was paid no less for them. He risked it all first, even when we say "no thanks" and walk away.
I'm coming to realize the only way we can ever truly experience the fullest capacities of love is to risk it all for the sake of it. It is likely the greatest risk to give all you are and all you have to someone else. Too often we take much less aggressive risks to assure that at least we have something left to call our own when the bell sounds at the end of relational exchanges and trading -- even if we are rejected. But can we say we have fully loved when we keep something of ourselves out of the relational market?
To love like God loves is an all-in risk. We must chance risking with possibly no return on the investment. "For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son..." That is the ultimate investment risk. For those who accept it, it is a risk we are eternally grateful He was willing to take.
We will do well when we are willing to risk loving the same way.
