Becoming...

Who I need to be is quite possibly not that far off. It is as though I can vaguely see it on the horizon like the dawning of the sun as it crests the landscape and illumines the silhouettes of winter's now barren trees. Provoked by knowing something better lies further down the road, I'm perplexed by how much time I've been spending in the rest area on the side of life's road. To be sure, there are others milling around here with me and perhaps we are all in the same predicament? I wonder where they are heading and wonder what they are becoming as well?

I'm not clear whether it is God's voice or my own ambition that begs me to get back on the road. There seems to be a fine line between self motivated ambition and fulfilling true Creative design. I'm guessing that even if I achieve all I think I should be, I'll still be missing the form and function the Creator desires. How much can we ever really know, anyway?

An ever increasing dependence upon the One who knows all things is where my limitations are most exposed. Frankly, I don't care much for being exposed. Far beyond the days of infantile innocence romping around in my developmental "birthday suit," mid-life acutely beckons awareness of who I am, who I'm not and what I am or am not becoming.

A strange thing is that most of us can function quite well right where we are. Continuing on as we have (perhaps for years) is apparently no major catastrophe (at least for the moment). When we allow ourselves to actually peek into that horizon though, where the sun has now fully engulfed the sky, then we are called to a reckoning of space and time. Looking into that brilliance, the realization of who we can be becomes somewhat inescapable. As surely as we can't halt the path of the sun, eventually we can't ignore the reality of who we could be. We are therefore forced to choose: either stay where I am or get back on the road.

This is when things become quite critical. A "wasted" day is now 12, 14, 15, 16, 17 waking hours less development toward my becoming. I face the reality that I can't keep living in the "rest area" and cast if off as merely a day when "I didn't do too much." It is now a day where I chose to hang out eating only junk food from vending machines and trying to wash in a sink that only provides 5 second bursts of water. There must be a better place further down the road, don't you think? Do we all really want to stay in a rest area (where most don't even have public showers, for goodness sakes!)?

So, it appears it is most appropriate for me (I can't make the decision for you) to buckle up and get back on the road. Becoming is on the horizon and from this vantage point, what remains to be seen looks rather interesting. Discipline is the call of the day. So, if you'll pardon my "blinker," that will be me merging in...