Standing in one of those large warehouse retail stores the other day, I witnessed something found only on the pages of a child development textbook or perhaps in the late scenes of a horror movie. I can still hear the blood-curdling screams and the way the child shook violently and rolled around on the floor, I would have cast my vote for demonic possession if anyone had asked me. Yet, I saw the whole thing transpire right before my eyes and know exactly what it was.
This young family comprised of a dad, a mom, an older sister and the "demon" (err, I mean little sister), were immediately in front of me in the check out line. Little sister didn't want to put her coat on, even though it was cold and raining outside. Mom tried to help and the child refused. Dad stepped in and that is when all "heck" broke loose. Instantaneously this child let out the most ferocious scream I've ever heard. If there was a TV show was called American Ignominy, the kid would have been a finalist! I thought this might be an isolated outburst followed by a swift parental action and all would be well with the sound waves. How wrong I was...
This kid was just getting warmed up. How that much "horror" can be stored in a six-year-old is beyond me. This kid yelled, screamed, spat, sat, kicked, hit and the parents never lost their cool. It was immediately apparent they had been down this road before. The older sister was mortified at the public disgrace, you could read it in her face. The mother wanted to melt into the cement floor as the dad forcefully yet sweetly lifted his now rigid (like a 2x6 board) daughter into his arms. Her screams filled the warehouse... I mean the entire warehouse... it was a ghastly sight. I was mortified for them.
Walking about 2o yards behind them, I began praying for their patience and long-suffering, for suffering they were! I don't know what else could have been done. They were not "giving in" to her tantrum, but this was a scene few parents would willingly endure. A lesser parent would have "popped."
I watched Dad load her into the car and shut the door. The other family members stood outside riding out the ear-piercing screams. I couldn't take any more myself as I got in my car and sped away. As I write this now, I find myself praying for them even though I don't know their names and will likely never see them again (I hope... at least in that condition, anyway).
Then it hit me like a ton of bricks... about 24 hours before... my wife and I pulled into the driveway and pushed the button to open the garage door. Rising only about eight inches, it stopped. I hit the button again, same result. Looking my wife in the eyes, she knew what I was thinking... and said it before I could. "Our front door keys are in the house, aren't they?" she queried. I sighed...
Then, from out of nowhere anger welled up inside of me so fast I didn't even see it coming. A few unsavory words and then I'm throwing my winter jacket on the hood of the car only to shimmy under the door across the freezing concrete. Successfully now in the garage, I proceed to take a few swipes at the door on my way up. A couple more choice words and I go into solution mode.
A simple repair of one roller and an adjustment to the track fixed the problem. But now I'm blaming the builder, the sub-contractors, the installer, the mailman... anyone I can find. I'm yelling and complaining about paying "so much" for a house and having a "goofy" garage door to show for it. Blah-blah-blah... It was disgraceful and I'm sorry about it!
Okay... confessions made, I now realize I'm not that far from my little "demonic" friend. While my audience was much smaller, my wife still had to deal with a husband throwing his little "temper tantrum." As the old saying goes, "Out of the mouth of babes..." Okay, I'm convicted...
Maybe someone (likely my wife) saw my sorry display of emotion and prayed for me like I prayed for that young little family. Regardless of age or packaging, temper tantrums are a waste of energy and I can only hope my Father will be patient with me, will pick me up and put me "back in the car." Eventually, I hope to learn my lesson!
Do you struggle with the same thing? What have you found helps you curb your temper? Are you willing to share?
2 comments:
I've found that when I have outbursts like that (and they are more frequent than I am comfortable admitting) it's because something went wrong long before the garage door.
In other words, outbursts like that -- for you, for me and for the child in the store -- are symptoms of deeper issues. Usually, it's a lack of emotional margin. I'm running to close to the edge, redlining too long.
When I am operating within healthy boundaries, I find I can deal with inconveniences like this with grace.
You make a great point and it accurately profiles my life recently. Thanks for the reminder. Since that day I have had the opportunity to "increase my margins" and I sense the difference already.
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