I used to despise it when friends and acquaintances would make snide comments about our being the parent of two girls. "Oh, they may be great now, but just wait until their teenagers! Then you'll wish they were boys!" they would say.
So far, I can say having teenaged daughters is a blessing and I'll still take them over the boys (no offense to those of you raising boys -- chances are, our paths are going to cross in the not-too-distant future). Each day seems to bring a new adventure in parenting -- and can we ever really get it right as parents? I doubt it, but it sure is fun trying!
Tonight, one of my girls and I took the motorcycle out for a little late night ride and some Bahama Bucks shaved ice. If you've never had a "Bucks" and don't live in a part of the country that has them, consider packing your bags and moving close to one... they offer the "best" shaved ice on the planet. With a "quadrillion" flavors and ice the texture of Colorado dry-powdered snow, you can't beat it on a summer's night like tonight.
As we were sitting there, sharing a great moment, my daughter cautiously launched into a bit of a confession. She knew I might be angry, but she took the risk anyway. She was articulate, explained her point of view and was forthright. I loved every minute of it.
When she finished, I was a bit upset by the news, but there was something so pure about the "confession" that I just couldn't muster up being angry. I offered a few words of exhortation and caution which were received with grace. I could sense relief on her part and, perhaps, some on my part as well. It was nice to know she trusted me enough to be open about it. I later told her this was a parent's dream, to have a child be open and honest with a parent. Cool stuff, I believe.
After we got home and her mom and I discussed it, we saw the need to set a few parameters and offer more exhortation. All is well, we might say. I think she's cool with it, too.
The whole thing got me thinking about how my heavenly Father must deal with me. At times in my life, I've held my stray behaviors from Him (though He knew them full well). I was slow in confession and even slower in opening my heart up to His instruction and discipline. Of course, I was only fooling myself, knowing I couldn't hide from Him. Finally, when I couldn't stand the pain any longer... I'd have to come to Him feeling even worse than I did before. It is always the same every time and I'm finally learning it is a bummer to keep from sharing stuff with the Father in Heaven. Hollowed be His name.
How pleased God must be when we come to Him in a proactive posture and admit up front, in His presence, that we really need to get our lives right with Him. He might even be angry with us over the choices we've made and our subsequent behaviors, but we're coming back "on the frontside" to repent and to ask Him to begin reshaping us. To take our mistakes and build us into a likeness that more closely resembles that of His Son, Jesus Christ.
This is a bold request of the Lord, but I believe he honors a proactive heart. Somewhere it says (I'll let you look it up, it will mean more to you when you find it) all He really requires of us is that we "do justly, love mercy and walk humbly" with Him. Could any parent ask for a more wonderful relationship with a child?
My daughter pursued justice even before I could have discovered anything out of the ordinary. She loved mercy enough (and, frankly, got some in the process) she was willing to take the "chance" on the frontside of the event and in her humility, I was willing to go a little easier on the pending discipline. In this situation, discipline is still invoked, but both parent and child are being blessed in the process.
I'm trying diligently in my faith walk with the Lord to come to Him sooner than later with my shortcomings and I think it is making a big difference in our relationship. I'd encourage anyone to consider doing the same, if this isn't part of your current faith walk with Him. Justice, mercy and humility are fostered when the child comes to the parent first.
Thank you, Father God, for your patience and love with us, your children.
1 comment:
We have a girl and a boy and I can honestly say they are pretty equal when it comes to raising them. Both are a blessing. I think raising kids is what you make of it. We have learned to try and have as open and honest of a relationship with our kids as we possibly can. For us, I feel like that has allowed them to feel comfortable with us and like they can trust us. It leaves doors open for ANY conversation. With that, a lot prayer and lot of mistakes that God covers over, I feel like our kids know they can come to us with anything. Most of the time they do and I know sometimes they don't, (at least not right away) but they know the door is always open.
Praise God that His door is always open. He is there without condemnation and full of mercy. And even though there are sometimes consequences to deal with, I am so grateful for that. May God continue to bless each of us as we come Him and continue to bless and guide us as our children come to us.
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